Epic Movie: Comments

So I hate to admit that I saw Epic Movie. It was largely due to the fact that I was home and didn't want to work on my thesis and was intrigued by it being the #1 movie in American on its opening weekend. The other reason I wanted to see it is that I believed that there had been way too many epic-type movies made recently. Basically, any fantasy novel, any story with an epic battle or any story with some guy addressing a large crowd from atop a mountain/stone structure are made. Although many of these movies are good, I felt a spoof was more than called for. Neither my intrigue, desire to see a spoor nor desperation for entertainment were satisfied by this "movie".

I'd classify the problems with this movie as universal. For a spoof, you're supposed to do similar things but over the top. However, this movie was basically just a worse version of Chronicles of Narnia (which is tough to begin with) that added very little of its own. When I think about a successful spoof I think of Last Action Hero which was just a ridiculous action movie with some specific allusions to other films. Epic Movie was just a bunch of non-sequitor breaks from Willy Wonka (almost as scary as Johny Depp was) randomly to Narnia, and then just as randomly to the show Cribs.

The other little thing was that it was probably the worst acting I'd ever seen. I realize its a dumb teen movie so its not gonna have anything great, but it was shockingly bad. It was like they signed up the replacement crew for Harold and Kumar or Date Movie but then they all fell ill so their back up crew ended up acting in this movie. Finally, it just wasn't funny. I was in a granted pretty empty theater of like 10 people, but none of us laughed once through the movie. The writing was also just annoying. Probably about 80% of one character's lines was just repeating another person's lines. This continued for the whole damn movie to the point where it was just shockingly annoying.

You will get dumber watching this movie. You will want your 8 dollars and 85 minutes back. You will want to walk out almost as much as during Windtalkers.